This is my entry to the Scott Pilgrim: Design the 8th Evil Ex contest.
This is Clutch Embargo. He dated Ramona for actually a very short time. He's a very prolific comic book artist. While he and Ramona shared a lot in common, he spent all his time on his art and didn't pay much attention to her while they were dating. It was always "right after I finish this page!" this and "I just need to ink this!" that. In fact, he spent so many all-nighters, Ramona quipped that he was dating his coffee more than he was dating her shortly before she broke up with him (via text). He took took this so personally that be began using coffee as a weapon. He is now as master of Valdez-Fu and uses his heightened mental powers to use his java as a coffee-sabre. It cuts like a knife, but it's also scalding hot like it was fresh from the pot.